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quigonejinn- Every time Forester gives Bush a canine quality, take a drink.
- Every time Hornblower thinks of Bush as a female -- better than a wife, a mother hen with only one chick, etc -- take a drink.
- Every time big tough Bush experiences a smushy girly moment for his captain, take a drink.
- Every time big tough "I like pretty saucy women and think of Hornblower as my younger brother, dammit, my younger brother!" Bush stares at Hornblower during his on-deck shower, take a drink.
- Every time Bush blushes and Hornblower notices, giggle and take a drink.
- Every time you notice Hornblower buying presents for Bush when he doesn't apparently even bring his wife anything after a year at sea, giggle, repeat "I can't believe it's not buttsex!" and take a drink.
- Everytime Hornblower spends money because of Bush (lemons, dinner, a village that just happens to be 30 miles from where Bush is now working), take a drink.
- Every time Forester shows us Hornblower hovering around Bush while Bush gets settled into bed, take a drink.
- Every time Hornblower notices how huge Bush's, um, groin glands are, go ew, then take a drink.
- Every time Bush conducts "Operation: Cheer Boyfriend," smile and take a drink.
- Every time Hornblower gets a warm fuzzy feeling because Bush compliments him, take a drink.
- Every time Hornblower notes some handy item made by Bush or whose making was organized by Bush, take a drink.
- Every time Hornblower rambles on and on about how hard Bush's hands are, take a drink, then politely pretend not to notice how Hornblower leaves the deck and Bush follows, looking all shifty-eyed, five minutes later.
- Every time Hornblower represses the knowledge that Bush has, in fact, seen naked women, take a drink.
- Every time tone-deaf Hornblower takes careful note of his first lieutenant's voice, take a drink.
- Every time Hornblower associates Bush with music, take a drink.
- Every time Bush thinks about how dumpy Maria is, take a drink.
- Every time Bush shows up at Horatio and Maria's house without invitation, take a drink. Wonder if Bush was trying to aim for some kind of threesome, what with his request for them to start drinking with him. :>
- Every time Bush asks Hornblower to go on "debauch" with him, take a drink.
- Every time Forester makes YET ANOTHER parallel between Lady Barbara and Bush, take a drink.
- Hell, every time Hornblower mentions Bush in connection with some internal thought about marriage, take a drink.
- Every time a woman going after Hornblower has to first go find her rod and tackle and go fishing to see whether he's shtupping his First Lieutenant, take a drink.
- Every time Hornblower has a temper tantrum and Bush suffers the brunt of it, take a sip -- a very small sip, mind you, because otherwise you're going to be dead drunk by the middle of Ship of the Line.
- Every time Hornblower thinks about Marie's "peasant" vigor, pretend not to notice Bush with dirt up to his elbows and wood shavings from the Boat o' Love around his feet.
- Every time that Hornblower tries to take care of Bush -- help him with his coat, give him the only bed, sit him down in the only chair -- and Bush gets embarrassed, take a drink.
- Every time Bush tries to hide the fact that he is in pain from Hornblower, take a drink.
- Every time Bush refuses to take the bed so that his captain can have it, take a drink.
- Handholding! Slug the rest of the drink and knock glasses with everybody in the room. Proceed to smirk about how, sure, this is the first time that they've ever shown affection for each other.
- Same goes for Hornblower waking up in Bush's arms. Option for extra
- Every time Hornblower mutters about how dumb Bush is, take a drink and roll your eyes.
- Every time Hornblower thinks about how bad Bush is at math, take a drink.
- Every time Hornblower complains about how much Bush talks, take a drink.
- Every time Bush's appearance makes Horatio suddenly and violently happy and carefree like very little else in the world, take a drink.
- Every time Hornblower ponders his mancrush on Bush and is like OMG WHY DOES SUCH AN AWESOME SEAMAN RESPECT ME?? HE IS EVERYTHING MUCH THAT I AM NOT :/, take a drink.
- Every time Hornblower watches Bush sleep, take a drink.
- Every time Forester foreshadows Bush's death, Bush's loss of a leg, or how lonely Horatio will be without Bush by having Horatio wander around his room whimpering, "O Woe is Me, Bush is off on a mission, and I am Suddenly Lonely," take a drink.
- Every time Hornblower thinks about raising a pyramid of skulls as a monument for his boyfriend, take a drink.
- Every time Hornblower almost gets himself killed because he is in a depressive funk without Bush around, take a drink.
- Every time Hornblower experiences writhing guilt for treating Bush badly, laugh and try to imagine how he managed to keep from cutting his arm off while getting Bush fitted with his fake leg.
- Every time Hornblower and Bush talk to each other about how much they love each other, stop drinking, and have someone contact emergency services. You are hallucinating and likely suffering from alcohol poisoning.
- The same goes for a happy Hornblower/Bush ending. :/
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Date: 2006-02-05 09:16 pm (UTC)