quigonejinn: (hornblower - caudebec)
[personal profile] quigonejinn


- 5 Things: HH is a chick
- 5 Things: Richard Arthur
- Not-5-Things-AU, post-LH happy ending RA visiting story
- Not-5-Things-AU, Marie story
- Crackville Bush and HH eat Chinese food. Involve awful offal.
- Bush/Hammond
- Bush/Pellew
- Signal the Fleet.
- Barbarafic, no seriously
- Biscuit crate!
- Mariafic.
- possible either HH/WB or HH/EP collab with K

...

  1. Ellipses are sinful. So are exclamation marks. No Irishmen or dogs allowed.
  2. Dialogue is the cousin of the devil.
  3. Appositive phrases, quite frequently, ahoy!
  4. Adverb abuse! Vaguely, obscurely, quickly, avastly me mateys.
  5. Who the fuck needs descriptions? Or setting? This is fanfic. You know what the fuck these people look like, as well as what Naboo/Corsucant/Tatooine/Portsmouth/Gracay/HMS Buttfuck look like.
  6. _________, however, is a big dude with big hands and scars, who dies sudden end on the verge of what seems like it ought to be a golden age. He was orthodox in his bones, but still never fits in with the powers that be because of social/political factors. OMG plebz0r <3 <3 <3.
  7. The names place of place are invoked cheap angst-o-meter points. Naboo! Caudebec! Corsucant! Sheerness! Kingston!
  8. Behaviors that you will find: dramatic closings of the eyes, careful lip-biting, nine months pregnant silences, listening to the heartbeat or breathing of a cared-for other party, undressing your lovers, breaking down the facial components of the other party into physical elemets because you can't figure out what they're feeling, filthy sex with no verbal leadup.
  9. Either third person limited or aggressive second person. At least I'm starting to use past tense with some degree of naturaless.
  10. The story follows this general outline:
    "This is how it is" intro line/section on theme A that is heavy on the punchy structure but short on scene-setting.

    Introduction of theme B

    Introduction of theme C to distract you from the fact that I have no idea what is going on

    Expansion of theme B to keep you ditracted some more

    Tie theme B to theme C

    Tie theme B/C to theme A, introduce super-sad variant of theme A in relation to the new connection, throw in a name-drop reference Caudebec, Sheerness, the Loire, Corsucant, or Naboo, and BLAMMO! We're done except for smirking excessively when the too-kind readers are like OMG THAT IS SUCH A GREAT LAST LINE and pretending that you haven't done the exact same thing twelve times before.
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