Great development here . . . Christine getting stuck with this assignment, and all the stuff she learns, and how the Starks protect their past, and oh god Maria ("She read this paper once about the brain, and that night, all she wanted to talk about was her idea of using sound, intense sound, to disrupt neural pathways."), and Obadiah!!!, and ending with Tony coming back and a bit of an aftermath of that.
This fic is awesome. Why does it not have more feedback comments?
I don't even know where to begin talking about this fic, but, um, particularly stand-out bits:
> Christine asks questions about Howard, too. Obadiah wants to focus on Tony: he talks about Tony in the present tense.
> Later, when Christine is looking into the convenient plane crash, she remembers Obadiah standing there: with the light in his face, she couldn't make out whether he had been smiling, but of all things, he did not sound like a father, and he did not sound surprised.
> He eventually wriggles free and runs, not to his parents, but to Obadiah. Tony is three years old, but already learned that neither of his parents is going to pick him up at a party. He stands by Obadiah's knee and sticks his arms up straight in the air. Obadiah absentmindedly picks Tony up and carries him for around for forty-five minutes.
Oh, and I also like that you nodded to the fact that she slept with Tony.
I know fandom revived The Concrit Debate recently, but it's nigh impossible to convince me to not at least alert people to typos. So...
> moved from the background tot he [to the] foreground of Martha's Vineyard > The very-much-not-Howard-Starks [-Stark's] boy "Dom Perignon and ice cream and Brooke Astor," went the reporters of the sort that asked that questions [that question? those questions?]. > even though he [the] house in the Hamptons was finished > he are [ate] cereal and milk > Obadiah ahd [had] taken his shoes and socks off > he eventually curls up to sleep [the whole paragraph shifts from past to present tense here] > They're still ont he [on the] second floor
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2008-07-29 04:04 pm (UTC)Great development here . . . Christine getting stuck with this assignment, and all the stuff she learns, and how the Starks protect their past, and oh god Maria ("She read this paper once about the brain, and that night, all she wanted to talk about was her idea of using sound, intense sound, to disrupt neural pathways."), and Obadiah!!!, and ending with Tony coming back and a bit of an aftermath of that.
This fic is awesome. Why does it not have more feedback comments?
I don't even know where to begin talking about this fic, but, um, particularly stand-out bits:
> Christine asks questions about Howard, too. Obadiah wants to focus on Tony: he talks about Tony in the present tense.
> Later, when Christine is looking into the convenient plane crash, she remembers Obadiah standing there: with the light in his face, she couldn't make out whether he had been smiling, but of all things, he did not sound like a father, and he did not sound surprised.
> He eventually wriggles free and runs, not to his parents, but to Obadiah. Tony is three years old, but already learned that neither of his parents is going to pick him up at a party. He stands by Obadiah's knee and sticks his arms up straight in the air. Obadiah absentmindedly picks Tony up and carries him for around for forty-five minutes.
Oh, and I also like that you nodded to the fact that she slept with Tony.
I know fandom revived The Concrit Debate recently, but it's nigh impossible to convince me to not at least alert people to typos. So...
> moved from the background tot he [to the] foreground of Martha's Vineyard
> The very-much-not-Howard-Starks [-Stark's] boy
"Dom Perignon and ice cream and Brooke Astor," went the reporters of the sort that asked that questions [that question? those questions?].
> even though he [the] house in the Hamptons was finished
> he are [ate] cereal and milk
> Obadiah ahd [had] taken his shoes and socks off
> he eventually curls up to sleep [the whole paragraph shifts from past to present tense here]
> They're still ont he [on the] second floor