quigonejinn | (no subject)

(no subject)

SO. There are, I am told, now a variety of Iron Man kinkmemes out, but how about a good ol' Doomthreading? Talk, riff, fic, Iron Man One or Iron Man Two, porn or not porn, anon or not anon. Open to all.

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Yeah, it doesn't, does it? On the other hand, you can kinda imagine him as the spawn Howard would've had if Howard (i) hadn't had the Nazikiller storyline to fall back on and (ii) hadn't used his unborn kid as a lab rat for an attempt to recreate the Super Soldier Serum. Like, new money, wanting things desperately, wanting to look cool.

Maybe he's the kind of guy Tony might have been if his father had loved him instead of walking him into roadside diners at 11 o'clock on a school night and sitting him down with a napkin and a ballpoint pen and a piece of apple pie a la mode and telling him to do what you want, kiddo.

c;askjd;lkjf. PARENTAL LIVE AS THE SPOILER.

You are a terrible human being.

EDIT: LIVE, LOVE. WHATEVER. EXCITEMENT.

Edited 2010-05-23 18:32 (UTC)

Spoiled, maybe?

Spoiled and never left alone with the soldering iron, so he never developed the engineering brilliance Tony uses so easily. He had a normal childhood, and that's his downfall.

Someone super indulged him and told him he could be whatever he wanted to be! And yet didn't give him any kind of support or guidance about how to do that or what to choose, so he decided he wanted to be Tony Stark. Except he's really terrible at the Douchey Asshole thing, has to work too hard at it, and no one ever buys it.

He's like a self-esteem program gone horribly wrong.

Yeah, exactly. He seems a little too dim to have made all that money himself, not to mention his kind of toddler temper tantrum to Ivan.

So he inherited that company. Maybe homeschooled or something rather than sent to boarding school, given his apparent lack of social graces?

I'm trying to get a handle on how he'd be formed. He's just so wacky.

He seems a little too dim to have made all that money himself, not to mention his kind of toddler temper tantrum to Ivan.

I think you've put your finger on it neatly.

Justin's social stupid strikes me as the kind of stuff you pull when you're thirteen and the cock of the block -- like, the most popular kid in middle school, who is popular because he is FILTHY RICH and a GIANT ASSHOLE? And it's like he never progressed beyond that stage.

YEAH, and yet he's weirdly needy and kind of sucks up to Tony while at the same time hating him? He totally wants to be Tony Stark. He's like the Single White Female of the rich kid set. Stalks Tony because he wants to be him, and yet sucks at it.

HE WANTS TO BE TONY SO BADLY. And if he can't be Tony, then he wants Tony to like him. And he is smart enough to see that Tony doesn't, so like a kid, he hates Tony.

Ow, it kinda makes my heart hurt.

Yeah. He's... not remotely deep. Is like, all surface, and yet COMPLETELY SUCKS AT IT. Which is amusing.

Now I want a story about tiny Tony and Justin and Bruce Wayne hanging out at some technology expo. How they used to all be friends by default because they were always the only kids there, before they all grew up, and how it used to be fun and totally awesome.

It was fun and totally awesome for Justin, because he never caught on to how Tony and Bruce would ditch him, or make fun of him using like mathematical equations. Or something.

make fun of him using like mathematical equations

You are brilliant.

TOO BAD i don't know enough about math to actually figure out how that would work.

Oh God. And how Justin, back then, was kind of the default leader because he cared? Whereas Tony was so like WHATEVER/secretlyomgattentionattentionattention, and Bruce was so just there to pass the time and make it so that nobody would ask questions about why he wasn't there. Oh God.

Tony wears those sneakers with red LEDs in the soles which light up whenever he takes a step -- the kind every kid has at one time or another, except his have a power jack in the heel.

And you know that Tony was all about having a puppy follow him around until it started interfering with his ability to pick up the ladies.

He introduced Justin to Rhodey at some function during college and later Rhodey was like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO THIS KID, TONY.

. . . I love the idea that basically, whatever Tony has to deal with regarding Justin Hammer? IT'S ALL HIS FAULT.

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