The 5 Things Meme.

[quigonejinn]

You know the drill.

Do me a favor and ask for five things. My fandoms are: Star Wars, Hornblower, RPF for Paul McGann and/or other Hornblower actors, Supernatural, West Wing, Venture Brothers, Boondock Saints and really, anything that you might desire to see done in a halfassed way. If anybody wants it, I'll even write Battlestar Galactica, Nip/Tuck, and Harry Potter.

Be greedy and ask for lots. I'm in a rut these days, and writing these short little things will help me pare down my blather tendencies. :D

Comments

Five things McGann did that Lindsay has to keep mum about lest it put the entire firm into ruin.

[quigonejinn.livejournal.com]

1. The story about McGann fucking a mail slot is not apocryphal. It's just that Lindsay will never, ever confirm that he was the one who walked in on McGann doing it and had to haul him away from the mail slot, and McGann was really, really, really close to finishing and ah, let us not talk about this part of it.

2. There's a pair of high heels in the bottom of the closet in McGann's office. They're four inches high, bright red, and so large that it's hard to believe any woman wears them.

3. One time, while in chambers and in front of Lindsay, he offered to give a judge the best head of her life if she'd give them an additional extension.

It's not known whether the judge took the offer.

4. One time, McGann almost fucked a fourteen year old. Granted, he backed off as soon as he realized how young she was, and she did look a good bit older than she was, but it was the annual one of the Christmas . She was the daughter of a man that Lindsay was courting as a potential client, and McGann was wildly drunk. And had possibly had a bit of nose candy before then.

5. He nailed that girl three years later. And her mother. At the same time. In Conference Room South. When said mother was divorcing her husband, who Lindsay had failed to get as a client.

The most outrageous -- or the only redeeming thing, from another perspective -- was that McGann billed that time.

Res Ipsa Loquitur.

[iansmomesq.livejournal.com]

OMG you KILL Me. KILL me. I laughed so hard I had to take a puff off of my inhaler. Seriously. OMG. BILLED THE TIME. I <3 McGann, Esq. even more now. 100 fold, and bill that at $350 an hour. And thank God he offered the judge the sex in chambers because OMG to do so in open court would have been so ballsy. High heels? *is scared*

Re: Res Ipsa Loquitur.

[quigonejinn.livejournal.com]

Ahaha. The heels = Masturbation makes you shorter, after all. McGann has to find some way to entertain himself when he's not making the summer associates bend over and hand him heavy Westlaw printounts.

The prospect of him offering in open court hand't occurred to me. BUT HAHAAHAH CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING THE COURT REPORTER FOR THAT? CAN D:LKJG:LDKJF:LAKJ :D