quigonejinn | The 5 Things Meme.

The 5 Things Meme.

You know the drill.

Do me a favor and ask for five things. My fandoms are: Star Wars, Hornblower, RPF for Paul McGann and/or other Hornblower actors, Supernatural, West Wing, Venture Brothers, Boondock Saints and really, anything that you might desire to see done in a halfassed way. If anybody wants it, I'll even write Battlestar Galactica, Nip/Tuck, and Harry Potter.

Be greedy and ask for lots. I'm in a rut these days, and writing these short little things will help me pare down my blather tendencies. :D

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5 things Paul McGann would never tell his brothers.

5 things Paul McGann would say about Jamie Bamber.

5 things Ioan Gruffudd would say about Paul McGann.

5 things McGann did that would get him disbarred if he were ever caught. (i.e. five things Lindsay has to keep mum about lest it put the entire firm into ruin)

1. For about half a year when he was fourteen, he actually believed Father Brewster on the whole "self-abuse will make you shorter" front. To this day, Paul maintains that there's a certain degree of plausibility in the whole thing. Look at the results.

2. There were parts about being an altar boy that he didn't mind so bitterly. They even had nothing to do with girls or sex or sneaking sips of the blood of Christ.

3. His first year at RADA, he had sex a couple times with other men. He only took it once, and he's never done it since then, so none of it counts.

4. One of those guys, McGann realized in the morning after, looked kind of like Joe. This was, in fact, why he'd originally ended up talking to the man: he had been horribly drunk, and for a certain drunken interval, he was convinced that Joe had come to London for something.

That broke him of the habit, quick and clean as anything.

It had also een the time he took it.

5. One time, when Paulie had seem some of the world and was back home for a while, he was out with Dad. They were on the street together, getting a part for the stove at home that'd broken down again, and McGann realized that at the counter at this one shop, the woman looked and Dad smiled at him. He had to hide a smile back.

There was a ring on the woman's hand, and Paul had slept with enough married women to recognize the way that they came onto a man.

There was a ring on his father's hand, too.

To this day, Paul maintains that there's a certain degree of plausibility in the whole thing. Look at the results.

*sporfle* I <3 your brain. I really do.

1. Good head on that boy's shoulders. Thinks his things through well.

2. Did you know that Bamber can sing? He sounds like a real opera part when he sings the part we just head -- does it in soprano, too, just like the girl. You should ask him for it sometime.

3. Did you ever hear about the time that all of his clothes got stolen by Gruffudd and he had to -- ah, you have.

4. Bamber has three little girls. I met them once. Lovely wife, too. He's a man who has it together.

5. All around set, we called him Bambini. Italian, you know. For baby.

1. That Paul McGann is such a experienced actor,

2. That Paul McGann is such a thoughtful actor. A great experience working with him.

3. Paul McGann tells really fantastic dirty stories.

4. One time, they were all sitting around McGann's room, drinking and taking the piss out of each other, and the phone rang. McGann answered, and it turned out to be his ounger boy, home from school and desperately missing his Dad, so he was sneaking a phone call, and McGann trailed the phone into the bathroom and shut the door and talked to his boy for about half an hour.

The walls were thin, and at one point, they heard him explain that no, this wasn't like theim that Dad had gone away for two months to get help, but that Dad had to be away a little longer to finish working.

When McGann came out, he looked like he'd been crying.

5. Paul McGann still remembers a lot of hte lines from Withnail.

1. The story about McGann fucking a mail slot is not apocryphal. It's just that Lindsay will never, ever confirm that he was the one who walked in on McGann doing it and had to haul him away from the mail slot, and McGann was really, really, really close to finishing and ah, let us not talk about this part of it.

2. There's a pair of high heels in the bottom of the closet in McGann's office. They're four inches high, bright red, and so large that it's hard to believe any woman wears them.

3. One time, while in chambers and in front of Lindsay, he offered to give a judge the best head of her life if she'd give them an additional extension.

It's not known whether the judge took the offer.

4. One time, McGann almost fucked a fourteen year old. Granted, he backed off as soon as he realized how young she was, and she did look a good bit older than she was, but it was the annual one of the Christmas . She was the daughter of a man that Lindsay was courting as a potential client, and McGann was wildly drunk. And had possibly had a bit of nose candy before then.

5. He nailed that girl three years later. And her mother. At the same time. In Conference Room South. When said mother was divorcing her husband, who Lindsay had failed to get as a client.

The most outrageous -- or the only redeeming thing, from another perspective -- was that McGann billed that time.

OMG you KILL Me. KILL me. I laughed so hard I had to take a puff off of my inhaler. Seriously. OMG. BILLED THE TIME. I <3 McGann, Esq. even more now. 100 fold, and bill that at $350 an hour. And thank God he offered the judge the sex in chambers because OMG to do so in open court would have been so ballsy. High heels? *is scared*

Ahaha. The heels = Masturbation makes you shorter, after all. McGann has to find some way to entertain himself when he's not making the summer associates bend over and hand him heavy Westlaw printounts.

The prospect of him offering in open court hand't occurred to me. BUT HAHAAHAH CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING THE COURT REPORTER FOR THAT? CAN D:LKJG:LDKJF:LAKJ :D

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The 5 Things Meme.

AHA OMG you're about to be McGann spammed.

5 things Paul McGann would never tell his brothers.

Re: 5 things Paul McGann would never tell his brothers.

5 things Paul McGann would say about Jamie Bamber. Man, these suck.

5 things Ioan Gruffudd would say about Paul McGann.

Five things McGann did that Lindsay has to keep mum about lest it put the entire firm into ruin.

Res Ipsa Loquitur.

Re: Res Ipsa Loquitur.