The dreams did not, as Vader might have expected, come after days when he had done part. evil.

[quigonejinn]

When Anakin was fourteen, a mission with Obi-Wan took them to a planet where the crust was more than forty-five percent ferromagnetic metal. Even the crystals incorporated significant amounts into their structures and could, therefore, be magnetized.

As an exercise for Anakin, as a sort of useful punishment for his lack of focus, Obi-Wan assigned him the job of using the Force to manipulate his personal magnetic field and use it to reshape a particularly loosely-bonded crystal that Obi-Wan had come across. For example, there was the transport they had used to arrive at this planet and various local landmarks. Furniture that they had in their rooms, basic shapes. Crude objects, mainly, because Anakin was still having trouble with finesse and small-scale control. Anakin could blow apart doors and jump from the clouds unharmed, but he had problems summoning objects from across the room without breaking every window, and Obi-Wan did not think that Anakin would be able to master anything more complicated.

Therefore, at the end of the stay, Anakin surprised Obi-Wan by modeling Obi-Wan's own face back at him.

It was whole, complete, from the slope of the forehead down to the shape of the chin. When Obi-Wan's expression moved in surprise, the model moved, too. The eyes widened; the jaw dropped, and after Obi-Wan swallowed down his shock, he congratulated Anakin. It was admittedly a masterful job. Instead of Anakin answering back directly, though, with proper Padawan humility, the face winked and smirked. If Anakin could have made it bow, he would have, and Obi-Wan had been exasperated by that, of course, and twenty years later, Anakin, as Vader, had a dream that sent him back to that room.

There was little physiological need for him to sleep anymore, but there were times when he would lapse into a state that was much like dreaming. On this occaision, it was all there, entirely in his memory, vivid and uncolored in a way that he never saw anymore.

The bay windows looking out into the garden. The curving furniture that he had spent hours and hours modeling and breaking his brain on. The marble floor that he'd slipped on when he'd come out of the 'fresher their first night there, the flowers in a vase on a table, and he was standing in the center of the room with the crystal in his hands again.

There was no Obi-Wan, though, not in even in his hands. There was some small triumph in that, but no matter how he tried, in the dream, Vader found that he could not get the crystal in his hands to take on any shape but his own, at twenty-one and full of love and hope.

That was, somehow, for Vader, worse.

Comments

[randomalia.livejournal.com]

Reading this was the first time I felt an actual, sympathetic interest in Anakin as Vader. The way he could recall the room perfectly, just the way he had seen it as a boy, and yet not be able to see Obi-Wan - that was really strong. The following paragraph is what clinches it; it's wonderful. It makes him something lovely.

I think your last sentence could be streamlined a little, but only to give it more punch. (Do you even want comments like that?)

[rabidfangurl.livejournal.com]

OW. Damn you, woman, for writing such good hurt.

[bell]

You obviously hate us all very much. D:

As an exercise for Anakin, as a sort of useful punishment for his lack of focus

Heeee. XD

I do think the second to last paragraph needs a bit more filling out, it's a little too understated. There's some contradictions I had difficulty getting over, like how why he's sculpting himself at 21 when the experience was when he's 14, and why it was worse if it was a triumph that Obi-Wan wasn't there.

[a-blue-moon-cat.livejournal.com]

but no matter how he tried, in the dream, Vader found that he could not get the crystal in his hands to take on any shape but his own, at twenty-one and full of love and hope.

That was, somehow, for Vader, worse.

You got me on those last lines. I can't describe the sad noise I made. Probably close to, but entirely different from, an R2 sad sound.

*sniffs and whimpers a little*

I understand the business about power, but no finesse. It's how I used to play tennis. That's why racquetball was a better sport for moi. And yet, I can sit down and untangle a pile of jewelry, painstakingly, necklace by necklace by bracelet by choker, and not get frustrated. I don't get it. And I suspect, neither did Anakin. :)

[imadra-blue.livejournal.com]

Oh, gorgeous. Just a lovely little piece, full of science fiction-y detail, and beautiful detail and insight on Anakin. I really, really like this. The last sentence got me, too. Just sad and haunting. Memorable, which is why I like your stuff. It always sticks out in my mind. It's not run of the mill. It's unique. :D

Couple spelling errors here and there, if you care about such things, and I would have loved the back end to be expanded. It kind of melded from Obi-Wan to Vader, and you did the shift nicely, but you know me. I'm a greedy bitch, always wanting more. ;)

[hlglne.livejournal.com]

The dream is not doing what he wants it to, because 21-year old Anakin will not go away. This rings true and is haunting, yes. Wise dreams are one of my favorite parallels, in fic, to real life.

Do go on.

[fatale.livejournal.com]

Lovely and haunting.

[neotoma.livejournal.com]

That was, somehow, for Vader, worse.

Ouch. But so Vader... focusing on his hurts, and not the wrongs he's done other people.

[polgarawolf.livejournal.com]

Ah, damn. Stupid Vader. Stupid stupid stupid Anakin. I'm going to go think of more ways to kill Sidious now, I think . . .

(Sorry, one of my two SW OTPs has been Obi-Wan/Anakin since I was, like, five, and first saw ANH. Don't ask how a five-year-old gets undying love out of a relationship referred to only briefly and mostly obliquely. I was a weird kid, okay?)