I think you could slow it down by extending it, even. 'Much worse' reads better to me, but then I abuse commas terribly, so.
I think making him *interesting* is what a lot of fic fails to do. Not that I have read much Anakin fic, um? But he has a great story. That lava scene is fantastic because he's so full of hatred and trashed ideals. And what I find interesting is that, by the time ANH comes around, I see an evolved person - as in, it's not just Anakin in a suit. He's just about the most frightening dude in the galaxy. And yet you can see the vestiges of Anakin in there, with 20 years of skewed maturity.
It would be exactly like Qui-Gon not to give up on him - have you read Rogue Planet? Because there's some interesting stuff in there with Qui-Gon talking to Anakin.
*will not make joke about Vader sailing up the English channel*
I think making him *interesting* is what a lot of fic fails to do. Not that I have read much Anakin fic, um? But he has a great story. That lava scene is fantastic because he's so full of hatred and trashed ideals. And what I find interesting is that, by the time ANH comes around, I see an evolved person - as in, it's not just Anakin in a suit. He's just about the most frightening dude in the galaxy. And yet you can see the vestiges of Anakin in there, with 20 years of skewed maturity.
It would be exactly like Qui-Gon not to give up on him - have you read Rogue Planet? Because there's some interesting stuff in there with Qui-Gon talking to Anakin.