quigonejinn | (no subject)

Justin versus Obadiah. Obadiah has known what Tony and the Starks are for thirty years. Justin hasn't, and can't. That is the difference.

Justin Hammer/Ivan's Bird. You know you want more of that love-hate thing they have going on.

later I promise I will come up with something remotely not ridiculous.

I kind of feel terrible for Justin already.

Threesomes for everyone!

Maria/Obadiah/Howard and an early prototype of the paralyzer. Scotch. High thread count and Howard's eyelids sticking when he can blink again, because he hasn't in a while.

Howard/Obadiah/Rhodey and vetting Tony's new BFF with enough scotch to drown a horse or three or make a 20 year old kid really, really fuzzy about the night before.

What have you done to me.

Tony Stark the Timelord AND/OR Tony Stark as an incarnation of the Doctor. JUST SAYING.

Some sort of interaction between Justin Hammer and Obadiah. A threat.

Let's talk about the security measures Tony installed in the Mark II and why he disabled them for Rhodey (and what might have happened if he hadn't).

On 2: Jim doesn't remember. He assumes that he fell down at one point and really, really embarrassed himself, and plus, his neck isn't working right. He must have slept funny.

Tony won't look him in the eye for a month afterwards, and even then, not until Tony has done something really epically stupid that Jim had to rescue him from and yell at him for forty-five minutes for how could you be so stupid, how could you do that to yourself. Tony finally seems to uncurl from the ball that he has been living in for the whole fucking time and kinda goes back to his normal self. They go and watch Star Wars, and Jim Rhodes finds that he has lost his taste for Scotch.

Also: some incarnation of Nick Fury & Natasha. Bonus points for having Fury administering the Infinity Formula.

Tony buys modern art and throws parties for the Maxim 100. Justin sees that and figures, Old Masters and parties at the Met with ballerinas from the Bolshoi Ballet. A guy has to come up with his own niche, right? And Tony actually comes to the Met one with the Bolshoi Ballet, and Justin makes a big show of introducing Tony to Bruce Wayne, except Tony says something about how he stole Bruce's first girlfriend, and Bruce smiles that small, cryptic little smile that could mean anything from, "Hey, I like you," to "Hey, we used to run around and make Albert apoplectic together" to "That is an interesting product development; your scientists should talk to my scientists," to "You are a total asshole, and I am telling the Wayne Foundation to put a call on your stock, and your debtors will panic, and your company will lose its debt rating, also, I'm walking away with your mother -- not your girlfriend, your mother."

Justin feels like an ass.

Yes, please.

question: does Justin come from money the way Tony and Bruce do?

(the self-tanner hands are some kind of weird giveaway to me, that maybe he doesn't, but I'm not sure how to read him. But it's such a great sign of Trying Too Hard And Still Failing Tackily.)

NICK FURY/NATASHA I SHIP IT HARD.

Yeah, it doesn't, does it? On the other hand, you can kinda imagine him as the spawn Howard would've had if Howard (i) hadn't had the Nazikiller storyline to fall back on and (ii) hadn't used his unborn kid as a lab rat for an attempt to recreate the Super Soldier Serum. Like, new money, wanting things desperately, wanting to look cool.

Maybe he's the kind of guy Tony might have been if his father had loved him instead of walking him into roadside diners at 11 o'clock on a school night and sitting him down with a napkin and a ballpoint pen and a piece of apple pie a la mode and telling him to do what you want, kiddo.

c;askjd;lkjf. PARENTAL LIVE AS THE SPOILER.

You are a terrible human being.

EDIT: LIVE, LOVE. WHATEVER. EXCITEMENT.

Edited 2010-05-23 18:32 (UTC)

Yeah, exactly. He seems a little too dim to have made all that money himself, not to mention his kind of toddler temper tantrum to Ivan.

So he inherited that company. Maybe homeschooled or something rather than sent to boarding school, given his apparent lack of social graces?

I'm trying to get a handle on how he'd be formed. He's just so wacky.

Spoiled, maybe?

DON'T LIE. YOU SHIP NICK FURY/CLATASHA AND GOVERNMENT HEALTH BENEFITS.

Spoiled and never left alone with the soldering iron, so he never developed the engineering brilliance Tony uses so easily. He had a normal childhood, and that's his downfall.

I ship Nick Fury's LMD/Clatasha and the words "readily available human tissue".

WELL YES OF COURSE.

He seems a little too dim to have made all that money himself, not to mention his kind of toddler temper tantrum to Ivan.

I think you've put your finger on it neatly.

Justin's social stupid strikes me as the kind of stuff you pull when you're thirteen and the cock of the block -- like, the most popular kid in middle school, who is popular because he is FILTHY RICH and a GIANT ASSHOLE? And it's like he never progressed beyond that stage.

YEAH, and yet he's weirdly needy and kind of sucks up to Tony while at the same time hating him? He totally wants to be Tony Stark. He's like the Single White Female of the rich kid set. Stalks Tony because he wants to be him, and yet sucks at it.

HE WANTS TO BE TONY SO BADLY. And if he can't be Tony, then he wants Tony to like him. And he is smart enough to see that Tony doesn't, so like a kid, he hates Tony.

Ow, it kinda makes my heart hurt.

Someone super indulged him and told him he could be whatever he wanted to be! And yet didn't give him any kind of support or guidance about how to do that or what to choose, so he decided he wanted to be Tony Stark. Except he's really terrible at the Douchey Asshole thing, has to work too hard at it, and no one ever buys it.

He's like a self-esteem program gone horribly wrong.

Now I want a story about tiny Tony and Justin and Bruce Wayne hanging out at some technology expo. How they used to all be friends by default because they were always the only kids there, before they all grew up, and how it used to be fun and totally awesome.