LOOK. I DON'T HAVE AN EDIT FUNCTION, OKAY? I. Just. My typing is so BAD. I had to fix it or I was going to go crazy thinking you guys might think I'm stupid!
**
"...what are you doing?" Rhodey looks at her. Him. Looks at him and crosses his arms and tries his damnedest not to sigh. It would only make Tony grin even wider, and when he was wearing that, the effect was disconcerting layered atop the usual, more familiar maddening.
"Oh, me? Nothing. I'm just standing here. Being Pepper. Totally normal Pepper." Tony puts a hand on her (his) hip, cocks her (his) head to the side, and flashes some teeth along with all that thigh.
"Uh huh." He looks over her once more. Him. Him. God, this was beyond believability, beyond stupid. "Pep-Tony." Rhodey tries a trick the real Pepper once showed him: two fingers to the bridge of the nose, and the pressing of them, hard. It works, but only just. "Tony. Pepper doesn't talk about herself in the third person, she doesn't wear her hair in pigtails and she definitely," Rhodey passes an eye down the length of Pepper's body and tries not lick his lips. He could blame Tony for this too, all those international flights with well appointed staff, it was practically Pavlovian. He was only human. "She definitely wears more clothes than that. Like pants. And shirts that button."
Tony passes a finger along the open collar of the shirt, then down alongside Pepper's neck until it rests between the two open flaps. A fingernail picks at the black lace nestled there and Rhodey hates himself for continuing to stare.
"This has buttons. I just choose not use them." And then Tony quirks Pepper's lips into a smirk.
Pepper had told him to watch Tony while she went to fetch Mr. Fantastic. Had warned him not to let Tony get her body into any trouble, and gave him a surprisingly detailed list of what constituted as such: piercings, implants, thongs, flight attendant uniforms. There had been more but Rhoday hadn't had time to read it all, since Tony had made a beeline straight for the closet in the guest room, and three out of the four he had managed to read were usually stored there.
And now this.
"Pepper is going to kill you, you know."
Tony nods, lets the finger drift further down, past the valley between Pepper's breasts until it trails perilously close to the one between her thighs. Rhodey feels himself going a little hard and he swallows. This probably wasn't what she had meant when she had said "keep an eye."
"Lets be honest here honeybear," and the drawl is unmistakable, even coated in Pepper's lilting pitch, "you're probably going to be next in line for the chopping block."
And Rhodey nods (because Tony is technically a genius, so he may be right about this too) and then gulps and then closes the gap between them.
Re: MY BACKSTAGE WANKING, LET ME SHOW YOU IT.
**
"...what are you doing?" Rhodey looks at her. Him. Looks at him and crosses his arms and tries his damnedest not to sigh. It would only make Tony grin even wider, and when he was wearing that, the effect was disconcerting layered atop the usual, more familiar maddening.
"Oh, me? Nothing. I'm just standing here. Being Pepper. Totally normal Pepper." Tony puts a hand on her (his) hip, cocks her (his) head to the side, and flashes some teeth along with all that thigh.
"Uh huh." He looks over her once more. Him. Him. God, this was beyond believability, beyond stupid. "Pep-Tony." Rhodey tries a trick the real Pepper once showed him: two fingers to the bridge of the nose, and the pressing of them, hard. It works, but only just. "Tony. Pepper doesn't talk about herself in the third person, she doesn't wear her hair in pigtails and she definitely," Rhodey passes an eye down the length of Pepper's body and tries not lick his lips. He could blame Tony for this too, all those international flights with well appointed staff, it was practically Pavlovian. He was only human. "She definitely wears more clothes than that. Like pants. And shirts that button."
Tony passes a finger along the open collar of the shirt, then down alongside Pepper's neck until it rests between the two open flaps. A fingernail picks at the black lace nestled there and Rhodey hates himself for continuing to stare.
"This has buttons. I just choose not use them." And then Tony quirks Pepper's lips into a smirk.
Pepper had told him to watch Tony while she went to fetch Mr. Fantastic. Had warned him not to let Tony get her body into any trouble, and gave him a surprisingly detailed list of what constituted as such: piercings, implants, thongs, flight attendant uniforms. There had been more but Rhoday hadn't had time to read it all, since Tony had made a beeline straight for the closet in the guest room, and three out of the four he had managed to read were usually stored there.
And now this.
"Pepper is going to kill you, you know."
Tony nods, lets the finger drift further down, past the valley between Pepper's breasts until it trails perilously close to the one between her thighs. Rhodey feels himself going a little hard and he swallows. This probably wasn't what she had meant when she had said "keep an eye."
"Lets be honest here honeybear," and the drawl is unmistakable, even coated in Pepper's lilting pitch, "you're probably going to be next in line for the chopping block."
And Rhodey nods (because Tony is technically a genius, so he may be right about this too) and then gulps and then closes the gap between them.
Might as well go down fighting.
**